Positively Calming Meltdowns and Bad Attitudes in Your Kids

There are definitely times when our children are upset, cranky, whiny, or just in a bad mood. The natural reaction when faced with this as a parent is to respond negatively. But I have learned that doing this just deepens the tension and causes turbulence to the situation. Learning to respond in a positive way can change the situation and help your child to calm down.

Here are some strategies that I’ve acquired and applied to help my children when they are upset. I hope this inspires you to try them with your children when needed. The first one is playing music. When I have an upset child, I play calming music to help change their mood. I usually play Christian music. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood also has good calming songs for young kids that you can play from your phone or music streaming device. Music is powerful and can help alter our moods and feelings.

Hugs, kisses, and back rubs also help to calm down a child. Children yearn for love from their parents. So showing this kind of affection is helpful to your child. When my kids are upset, I usually say, “You look like you could use a hug or a kiss on that cute little cheek.” After initially refusing, this eventually makes them smile or laugh, and it changes the mood. Sometimes I just start slowly rubbing their back and as I do this their bad attitude starts to dissolve.

Positive words of affirmation also helps your child to calm down when angry or upset. I will say something to my kids like, “You are smart and I know you can make good choices.” Or I’ll say, “You have self-control and can make good decisions. You can choose to follow God with your attitude. Don’t follow the devil, because he wants you to do the wrong thing and to get in trouble. People who don’t have self-control get into a lot of trouble in life. That’s not the type of person you are.” These words are very helpful to them and help them change their attitude and eases their irritability.

I love the Bible verse, Proverbs 15:1 which says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This is so true. Our kids’ anger goes away much better when we talk to them in a respectful and positive way. This doesn’t mean we never have to be firm, but we can be firm using respectful tones in order to help our kids. Going back and forth in a yelling match is not good for anyone. Kids are more likely to open up and listen to you when you respond calmly and positively.

This concept can be difficult to understand, but if you give it a try you will see that it really is effective. It helps to think of how we feel when we are upset, and the way we want others to respond to us. And of course, there will be times when we mess up. But we can correct the mistake by apologizing to them and then moving forward positively. When we respond to our children calmly, it sets a good model for them to follow as they grow into adulthood.