Helping Your Kids Process Disappointment and Make the Best of It
We all experience disappointments in life. It is helpful to learn ways to process disappointment in order to make the best of it. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-pity whenever things don’t go as we anticipated. This is dangerous because it holds us back and prevents us from focusing on the good things in life. Moving forward enables us to keep our mind at peace. I find it helpful to explain to your kids why something has happened and letting them know that they can choose not to let it keep their spirit down. I’m going to list some examples of different scenarios.
Scenario 1: A girl is disappointed because she is going to miss her dad because he has to travel for work. Her dad comforts her and acknowledges her feelings. Next, he explains to her that he loves her but traveling for work is necessary so that their family has the money needed to pay for the home they live in, to buy the food everyone eats, and to pay the cost for the sports team she is playing on, etc. He reminds her that the things their family has and enjoys are not free and that money is needed to pay for them. This helps her because she learns that her dad is not traveling to be away from her, but that he is doing it to care for their family’s needs. She decides that she will draw some pictures for her dad while he’s gone. She will give them to him as a gift when he returns home.
Scenario 2: A boy is supposed to go to a birthday party today. He wakes up sick and now is not able to attend. The first thing his mom does is comforts him. She explains to him that the reason he cannot go is because it would not be a good idea to spread germs to others. She helps him understand that he would not want another person to get him sick, so he needs to do the same. She explains to him that by staying home he is showing that he cares about his friend and the other guests. He decides that he will invite his friend over for a playdate and give him his birthday gift on a different day when he is feeling better.
Scenario 3: A girl is upset because she received a low grade on her math test. Her mom lets her acknowledge her feelings. Then she lets her know that sometimes in life we don’t always do well. Her mom tells her that she should not give up and she should keep trying. She explains to her the importance of studying and having good work ethic in order to be successful. The girl decides that she will do extra studying on the math concepts that are difficult for her.
Children benefit from having situations explained to them. They are better able to process things when they know why. Learning how to process disappointment at a young age will benefit them in life. Another thing I like to do is encourage my kids to pray when they feel sad and disappointed. Psalms 34:18 (NIV) says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I have also found that playing positive songs also helps cheer my kids up when they are down. One song I like to play is “Make the Best of It” by Danny Go. I hope this information is helpful to you and your kids. Remember that God is always here to guide you as you parent your children.